Strangers in the Narutoverse
by yuyu4848
Summary: Sequel to Akatsuki in my Kitchen. Wrote out of boredom, continued out of obligation. BEWARE, PURELY CRACK FIC. If you don't like random stuff, then you shouldn't read it. RATING CHANGED. Rated for perverted implications, and language.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey~ Here is the first chapter of the sequel to Akatsuki in my Kitchen! If you don't read that first, you won't have a clue as to who the characters are and such. Good luck. :)_

WARNING: This story is purely a crack-fic done for enjoyment only. Nothing is serious about this.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own Yenaa, Ema, Kiko, and Matt. Then again, they are based off of real people. **_

_ONWARD!_

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**First Sight**

"Sis," huffs Matt, "why the hell did you bring all of this stuff?" I roll my eyes.

"Duh, we are in a new world, and I have NO idea what kind of clothes they wear here, so since I brought ALL of my clothes, we should be safe!" I grin happily at my logic that makes total sense to me.

Matt rolls his eyes, while grumbling about 'women'.

"Matt, you're just jealous." I retort.

"Of what?"

"..........My super awesome abilities to make all guys around me melt into piles of water with a single glance!"

An awkward silence awkwardly forces its awkwardness into the awkward situation.

"Well, who could argue with that logic?" Matt mumbles.

We arrive at the gates of Konoha, where we find Yenaa poking Kotetsu in the chest, while Izumo watches. Izumo is grinning hugely, and snickering when he feels its appropriate.

"This is, interesting." Matt says. Of course, he had never watched Naruto before, so he never got to see the people and the setup of the village.

Itachi shifts slightly closer to me. He is obviously worried about shinobi seeing us together. Oh, right, he is an s-ranked criminal. BUT IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!!!

Anywho.

When they see us, Kotetsu and Izumo tense up. All traces of humor disappear from their faces. They share a quick look, before moving apart and saying,

"Lady Tsunade wishes to see you."

Apparently, Ema had warned them that we would be coming.

Yenaa spins around, and shouts,

"KIKO!!!!!!" before tackling me in what can only be described as a you're-going-to-die-of-suffocation hug.

Matt sighs.

"And I thought this would be a nice, quiet vacation."

Itachi graces us with a small smile, and I attempt to smile back. Key word being, attempt.

I can't frickin breathe.

Yenaa FINALLY gets off of me and starts rambling.

"OMG! Ema told me that you were coming, but you took so long to get here, so I got mad thinking that those idiots," pause to point at Kotetsu and Izumo, "wouldn't let you in. Soooo, I came up here and was chewing them out, then you guys showed up then I tackled you in a hug and then I started rambling off which brings us up to date in the story!" She grins widely, panting slightly.

Matt stares at her, sweat-dropping.

It gets quiet, and out of seemingly nowhere (instead of crickets) an orchestra begins playing loud, action music.

Now, more then one sweat drop could be seen gracing the heads of the fellow travelers.

I break through the weird atmosphere by standing up and wiping my backside off.

"To the Hokage's office!" I shout, throwing my fist into the air.

Yenaa links her arm through mine, and we skip off in a random direction.

Izumo clears his throat.

Stopping, we look at him.

"The Hokage's office is that way." He points in a direction which was definitely not where we were heading. We chuckle nervously, then begin running full speed.

Matt follows after some complaining about hanging out with weirdos and having to carry the luggage, and Itachi jumps to the rooftops. Probably to avoid being seen by the villagers, thus causing extreme panic.

By the time we get to the Hokage's tower, people are pointing and whispering, and sending us dirty/annoyed looks. We can't help it if we're awesome!

They will so have to get used to it.

Ema is probably a hundred times worse than we are, and all of us are here together.

Oh yeah, Konoha better watch out.

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Pausing for dramatic effect, I glance at Yenaa, grab Itachi's hand, then throw the door to Lady Tsunade's office open.

"Here's, Johnny!" shouts Yenaa.

Ema grins delightedly and waves with the hand that isn't busy holding Pakkun.

Tsunade's eyes get really wide, and then she smirks.

"So its true, the great Itachi Uchiha has been tamed by a mere girl."

"Tame? Oh believe me, he is so not tame," I smirk.

Yenaa laughs uncontrollably at the perverted implications she got out of that, and Matt sends us a look that says, if that means what I think it does someone will die.

I giggle.

"Relax. I was just kidding," I say, lightly punching Matt's arm.

"Better be." he mutters.

Tsunade wipes the smile off of her face with some difficulty, and clears her throat.

Instead of giving her the attention in the room like she wanted, it only served to distract the girls.

"Hey, that reminds me, I'm freakin thirsty!" Ema shouts.

"Speakin of thirsty, I have to pee!" Yenaa whines, doing a special jig, if ya know what I mean.

"Speaking of pee, I think I forgot to turn the oven off!" I panic.

That gains everyones attention.

I laugh.

"Just kidding. Tsunade wanted our attention. Take it away," I point at her and laugh nervously.

"So," Tsunade says after a moments hesitation. "Ema says you guys have nowhere to stay."

We all nod, except for Matt, who says, "'The hell? I thought you said you took care of it!"

I grin and laugh nervously, rubbing my neck with my free hand.

"I am taking care of it right now." It gets quiet.

"Please, continue." I say to Lady Tsunade.

She sighs and mumbles, 'I have enough idiocy to deal with while Naruto is around. Come on.'

I smile apologetically.

"You guys can stay at the Uchiha compound." I feel Itachi tense beside me.

"Um, is there anywhere else we can stay?" I say quickly.

Tsunade takes note of Itachi's clenched jaw and softens up a bit.

"I suppose I can get you guys some rooms in a hotel or an apartment. How long are you planning on staying?"

"Well, does everyone's parents know they are here?" I ask. Ema and Yenaa nod.

"Then however long we feel like it!"

Tsunade wilts.

I wonder why.

"Fine." All of a sudden, she grins mischievously. "I'll get about four apartments set up for you guys by Naruto's. After all, his whole floor is empty."

I flinch.

"And why is that?"

Tsunade, if possible, grins even wider.

"You'll see."

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_Oh no! It actually is developing a plot-line! NO!!! WHERE IS THE RANDOMNESS GOING!_

_Anywho._

_Reviews and advice are greatly appreciated. Flames are not. _

_THANKS FOR READING AWESOME PEOPLE!!  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Again, a plot developed in this chapter too. Kinda. Its not as random as it usually is, and sorry for that. But I had fun writing it. _

_Enjoy the chapter! Oh yeah, there is major Karin bashing in this chapter. As well as several bad words. :) It is rated T.  
_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. I own Ema, Yenaa, and Kiko, and Matt. Who are based off of real people. Yeah. **_

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Moving In

"Ahh!" yells Yenaa, tripping up the stairs. Ema laughs and continues walking, only to trip over...nothing. This makes Matt laugh. I myself, already laughing, run into a door.

"Ow!" I complain.

Matt, if possible, begins to laugh harder.

It's at times like these when I'm happy that Itachi has as much patience as he does.

He barely keeps the smile off of his face, and grabs my hand.

"Hey, that was the first time I ran into anything! I don't need help," I pout. Itachi shrugs and releases my hand, and I walk a bit before tripping over my own foot.

From my spot on the floor, I am unable to keep from hysterically laughing at the stupid situation. Sadly, this is quite normal for us.

Yenaa, who isn't paying attention, trips over me.

Wow.

Itachi is chuckling now, and Matt is bent over with his arms wrapped around his stomach, laughing uncontrollably.

Ema, who is walking backwards while laughing at us, backs into a door that isn't fully closed, falls, and rolls a bit before crashing into Naruto.

"What the hell?" shouts Naruto, rolling down the stairs.

If it wasn't Naruto, I would be freaking out. But I know Naruto is quite good at healing, so I just laugh.

After we regain control of ourselves, we continue our eventful walk until we reach Naruto's floor.

"Okay, she said that Itachi gets room 43, Matt and I get room 44, Yenaa has 45, and Ema gets 46."

Matt absolutely refused to let me have a room alone. He was probably afraid I'd do 'something' with Itachi.

Well, at least Matt and I get along. It could be worse.

One hour and 15 minutes later-

"Will you get out of the bathroom? I need to take a shower!" Matt shouts.

"Shut up! I'm shaving my legs!" I yell through the door. Actually, I'm sitting on the side of the tub, listening to my Ipod. I'm already completely showered, I only need to change. I've been ready to go get clothes for about forty five minutes.

"You've been in there for over an hour!"

Ema knocks on the wall -her room is next to ours- and screams,

"Shut up! If you children don't stop fighting, you aren't going to like what I do to you!"

Yenaa's laughter can be heard echoing down the hallway. Oops. The perve-switch has been thrown.

"Oi! I have to train tomorrow! Can you please knock it off?!" Naruto whines, for the thousandth time. I do believe Tsunade's plan has backfired. Instead of him driving us crazy, we are driving him absolutely insane.

I open the door to the bathroom, still in a towel, and say,

"Sorry, forgot my clothes."

See, it's all part of the plan. Annoy Matt as much as possible, get a new roommate.

It's working.

Matt runs into the bathroom and slams the door.

"Matt! If you don't open this door right now, I'm going to go over to Itachi's and stay the night over there!"

"I don't frickin care anymore!" Matt growls.

I smile.

"Fine."

I put on some pj's and walk out of the door, only to see Itachi with the door open and him standing in the hall, waiting for me.

I smile.

"Plan worked."

He smirks and follows me into the room.

Itachi lays down on the bed, and I cuddle up to him, my head on his chest. We watch tv until we fall asleep.

Morning-

When I wake up, I lay there staring at Itachi. He is still sleeping, and he looks soooo cute when he sleeps! Then I notice that he is wearing loose pajama pants and his chest is completely bare.

I check him out, grinning at my awesome luck.

I must have done something right, cause I got the hottest guy in the freakin world.

When I look back up to his face, he is smirking at me.

"Ah!" I yell, surprised, and fall of the bed. The blankets are wrapped around my legs, and the pillows fall on top of me.

Because he was totally unprepared for my reaction, Itachi bursts out laughing.

I blush. He has a _very_ nice laugh.

The door gets throw open, and Ema, Yenaa, Matt, and Kakashi rush in. They take one look at me on the floor, tangled in the bedding, and laugh at me.

I huff and pull myself up. The blush slowly fades away, and I stand there awkwardly as everyone continues to laugh. Except for Itachi, who managed to take it down to a chuckle.

Matt grins.

"Well, I thought about it sis, and I don't mind if you move in with Itachi. As long as nothing happens, or else I will kill someone."

I roll my eyes.

"I know Matt, I know."

"Yeah, I better not get woken up in the middle of the night cuz you two," Yenaa smiles devilishly, wriggling her eyebrows.

I throw a pillow at her, and Matt gives her a dirty look.

She laughs and heads to her apartment.

So, after we move my stuff into my new shared apartment, we head off to get breakfast.

I link my arm through Itachi's and prepare for the glares and whispers. And maybe screaming and panic.

Itachi is slightly tense. I lay my head on his shoulder and smile up at him.

It's times like these when I love having Matt as my overprotective brother.

Many people stopped and began to whisper, but Matt gave them our family's Italian Glare of Doom, and they scurried off.

Well, most of them.

Those that didn't got something chucked at them, or Ema or Yenaa would impersonate them by acting all snobby, and they would leave. In one instance, it took a lot more to get someone to leave.

"OMG! Thats Sasuke's brother! The one who killed his family! I can't believe he showed up here. We should show him a thing or two."An ugly red-head, whom I recognized as Karin, struts up to us. Her friends roll their eyes and watch, knowing better than to get involved.

"Move slut, I have business with him," she snaps, pushing me. Oh, hell no.

I grab her arm and spin her around, giving the sweetest smile I could muster.

"Excuse me? Do you have a problem bitch?" I snarl, the smile disappearing quickly.

Her mouth drops open, and she flips her hair.

Her ugly, stiff, red hair.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. You are distracting me. Stay out of my business." She turns back around.

See, I inherited two traits from my parents. First, my dad's quick temper, and my mom's attitude. Bad combination.

This time, I didn't bother with words. I grabbed uglies hair and forced her to her knees.

"You wanna say that again?" I growl, twisting her hair. A nice little crowd had gathered by this point.

"Bitch," she hisses.

Right when I'm about to knee her in the face-with Matt cheering me on-an ANBU appears and grabs me, pulling me away from Karin.

"What the hell? Let me at her! I'm gonna skin her and feed her to the sharks!" I shout.

"You mean Kisame?" asks Yenaa, giggling.

Matt yells and throws a punch at the ANBU, somehow successfully punching him in the face-er-mask.

So, another ANBU appears, and detains Matt. Now, Yenaa and Ema decide to enter the brawl. Yenaa kicks the one holding Matt in the shin, and Ema bites the one holding me.

Itachi grabs the girl closest to him, Ema, and pulls her back.

Kakashi snatches Yenaa before an ANBU can, and pins her arms to her body tightly.

Both struggle against the men restraining them.

"Enough!" barks a gruff voice. Everyone stops what they are doing and turns to look at the approaching person.

Ibiki struts over, looking distastefully over at us.

"What is going on here?" He eyes Itachi, and looks over at Karin.

No one speaks.

"Oh, I see. Karin saw Itachi, got angry and tried to attack him. Although, I fail to see where you come in, and why Karin is not being detained now." Ibiki looks at me as another ANBU grabs Karin and puts chakra cuffs on her, much like the ones on me and Matt.

"Excuse me sir, I am Itachi's girlfriend. That bit- girl insulted me and my boyfriend, and I willingly allowed my temper to get the best of me," I reply, looking coolly into his eyes, showing no regret. It was quite fun to cause harm to Karin. Fun indeed.

"You don't regret anything, do you?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Sir, quite honestly, the only thing I regret is that I didn't get to beat the living hell out of her." Matt smirks. And some people snicker.

"I see. And why are you involved?" Ibiki turns to Matt.

"Because nobody touches my sister," Matt says, still smirking.

"Let me guess, you girls," he looks at Ema and Yenaa, "were defending your friends."

Ema rolls her eyes and says,

"Duh!"

Yenaa, now released from Kakashi's hold, punches her fist in the air and shouts,

"Cha!"

"Who are you girls?" Ibiki smiles now, nodding at the ANBU to release us.

"I'm Kiko," I chirp.

"Yenaa!"

"Ema."

"What about you, and how did you manage to punch an ANBU?"

"Matt, and I was pissed." Matt grins and ruffles my hair. (A/N sorry bout the language guys. ^.^)

"I'm proud of ya sis, I taught you well."

I smile back and playfully slap his hand away, then return to Itachi's side. I take his hand in mine and glare at the people surrounding us, daring them to try anything.

Alas, my victory is short lived. My stomach growls and I blush. Ibiki offers to treat us to brunch, so we all head over to a little cafe. People I don't know walk over and laugh, telling me I did an awesome job.

Yeah, I don't need to be told. I know I'm awesome.

As we walk into the cafe, I run into someone walking out.

-sighs-

After brunch-

Ibiki warns us about attacking the ANBU, and goes off to do whatever he does.

Matt follows Itachi and I around, Itachi acting as our guide.

Yenaa trots off after Ema and Kakashi, most likely to tease them about comments they make that sound perverted.

Several times during the day, I get to practice my Italian Glare on people passing by us.

Itachi ignores them in favor of having a good time with me and Matt.

Well, mostly me.

We run into Ino, and Matt flirts with her. I glare at her, a silent warning, and she laughs nervously.

"See ya!" Ino shouts, running off with Matt in tow.

Wow. Guess the Karin incident got around pretty quickly.

Itachi and I walk until we get to the edge of a forest. I look quizzically at him, and he grabs my hand, leading me onto a little path.

"Ouch!" I grumble, tripping slightly up the hill, and rubbing at the scratches on my arms.

Itachi smiles and pulls me onto his back.

"Holy fuzzy wooden bacon!" I yell, burying my head into his back.

Just when you thought it got serious.

When Itachi stops running, I cautiously raise my head.

Gasping, I look around with wide eyes.

There in front of us, is a small, natural waterfall that dumps into a pond of clear water. The sound of the falling water soothes me, and all of my irritation with the people of Konoha disappears.

I stand on the edge of the pond, which is actually quite large, and smile when a sudden idea hits me.

Itachi walks up and stands beside me.

I gasp.

"What is that?!" I panic, pointing into the water.

When Itachi leans in to look, I push him.

Sadly, I forgot he was ninja.

Oh he was going in.

But I was going in with him.

He spins in midair, grabbing my hand, and pulling me into him.

"Ahh-uffgh," my scream is muffled by the water.

When we resurface Itachi is laughing quietly. I frown playfully and splash him.

All of a sudden, he gets a twinkle in his eye.

That. Can. NOT. Be. Good.

"GIANT YELLOW RARE AFRICAN SNAIL!" Ema screams, running into the clearing before Itachi can do anything (thank god).

"What? What!" I yell, jumping out of the water and shaking Ema.

Everyone goes quiet.

"HE KISSED ME!" she starts dancing, and falls into the water. Itachi sighs and stands beside me. I sweatdrop.

"Who kissed you?" I asked.

"Who do ya think? It was a juicy one too," Yenaa laughs, walking up next to me. Kakashi saunters behind her, smirking.

He isn't wearing his mask.

He's pretty cute.

Itachi, who notices me staring, growls. Spinning me around, he pulls me roughly into him and proceeds to kiss the living heck out of me.

Well, that little plan worked too.

Matt enters the clearing in time to see me pretty much making out with Itachi, and he clears his throat.

Itachi pulls back, though he keeps his arms around me.

Heh, good thing, cuz I couldn't stand on my own.

I smile nervously at Matt.

"Heh, heh. Umm...hi?"

Matt stares hard at Itachi.

…........................................................................

…...........................

…...........................................................................

"Well," Kakashi says. "We'll let you guys talk." Kakashi grabs Yenaa and Ema and leaves the clearing in a swirl of leaves. What a jerk!

Ino, who is standing next to Matt, winks at me.

"Matty, why don't we go do something hm? Something, in private." she smiles suggestively up at him and he raises an eyebrow at her.

"Fine. We'll talk about this later." They start to walk off.

"Whoa! Wait a minute! I get in trouble for kissing, and you go off to do a little something-something! How unfair!"

Matt rolls his eyes and continues walking.

"We'll talk about it later!" he calls over his shoulder.

I huff angrily.

Itachi chuckles in my ear, effectively turning me into a bigger pile of goo.

"Let's go shopping."

I just nod dumbly and allow him to lead me back to Konoha.

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_Thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked it. I had soo much fun writing the scene with Karin. So much fun. -grins evilly- _

_Review please~ I appreciate it guys. _

_Live, laugh, run around screaming. _

_Hannah~  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, what can I say except, I am so sorry to all of you Neji fans. I really like Neji, I swear! It was just the perfect opportunity. I do not own Assassin's Creed, or Gone Forever by Three Days Grace. Or Spongebob. I do own the limerick, and I love doughnuts. As you can tell._

_ ONWARD!!!_

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"I feel so, much better, now that your gone forever. I tell myself, that I don't miss you at awlll!!!" I sing, scrubbing my hair viciously.

You know you sing in the shower too.

Anywho, I freak out when I hear screaming. I jump out of the shower, pulling the green curtain around me, and run into the hallway, where I slip across the floor and into the wall across from my door. (Heh that rhymed)

"Ow," I grumble, rubbing my head.

I find Yenaa screaming while hanging off of her door, pointing wildly at something on the floor. (I'm a poet, again! :P)

That something happens to be a **magnanimous** spider. (heh, my dictionary did not recognize ginormous. And magnanimous is a funnier word!)

Did I ever mention that I'm afraid of spiders?

I join her in screaming, and run back into mine and Itachi's apartment.

In there, I quickly change and cautiously poke my head into the hallway.

Yenaa has stopped screaming, and she is pouting.

Matt has something behind his back.

"Hey sis, I have to show you something." I know this cruel joke.

"No!" I yell, slamming the door behind me and jumping out of the bedroom window. I land on my butt on the balcony of the people under us, and scare the shit out of the elderly couple living there. They stare at me wide-eyed, and the woman puts a hand over her heart.

"Sorry!" I shout, backing up and falling over the rail.

I land in a pile of hay.

Like on Assassin's Creed!!

So, feeling very sneaky, I start acting like Altair.

I walk in the same swagger he does, acting like a priest when people look at me strangely. This, of course, draws more attention. So, I do what I do best.

"Their catching on to me!" I scream, and run wildly down the street, flailing my arms around.

This makes me look like I stole something.

So, I soon find myself being followed by ninja. Those ninja happen to be Neji's team.

"AH! I CAN'T LET THE GAY GUYS IN THE GREEN JUMPSUITS CATCH ME!" I scream, running faster.

Outsmarting them, I jump off the red bridge into the water.

I stay underwater as long as I can, and come up when I believe the coast is clear.

Sadly, ninja aren't stupid.

Most of them.

Lee pulls me out of the water and glares at me. Wow. Lee, glaring? What happened?

"Nooo! I broke the line of sight!! The game is a liar!" I thrash around.

Lee continues glaring at me, and I stop struggling.

"What the hell are you so mad about?" I say.

"GAI SENSEI IS NOT GAY!" He yells, spitting on my face a bit.

I wipe the spit off, yelling,

"YOU ARE WEARING PURPLE UNDERWEAR!" Lee stops and let's go of me, trying to find a way to check his underwear.

Neji and Tenten sweatdrop.

"......you have to check?" I ask.

"I haven't taken this off since I got it! I have no idea what color my underwear is!" Lee shouts, doing his pose thing.

I back away slowly, and let myself fall back into the water. I swim to the other side, only to find Neji standing above me.

"Heh heh. Can I help you?" I say.

He raises an eyebrow, and pulls me out of the water.

"RAPE! RAAAPPPEEE!" I scream.

In seconds, we are surrounded. ANBU take me from Neji and cuff him.

My mouth drops open and I gasp.

Neji turns to glare at me.

'My bad' I mouth. His glare increases.

Itachi appears beside us, glaring quite venomously at Neji.

"Umm, guys?" I say.

Words are being exchanged between the ANBU and Neji, with Itachi putting his two cents in every now and then.

"Guys?" I say a little more forcefully.

They continue to ignore me.

"I'M PREGNANT!" I scream.

Matt, who walked up behind me at the last second, growls,

"What. The. Hell. Did. You. Just. Say?" I flinch under his gaze and mumble,

"I'm not really pregnant, no one would listen to me!! Dammit!"

"And why do you always appear in time to hear the bad things!"

Matt grins.

"That's just the way I roll."

"Really? Cause I roll like a jelly filled doughnut." Ema says.

"And I roll like Choji when you push him down a hill." Yenaa says, grinning.

"HEY! I AM NOT FAT!" screams Choji, appearing from out of nowhere.

"No one said you were fat. Fatty," mumbles Ino.

"Oh yeah. HEY!" Choji yells.

With that, I walk away with Itachi, forgetting that Neji was being taken to Ibiki to be interrogated.

Two hours later, I find myself sitting in Matt's apartment, with him attempting to give me _the talk._

"Matt?" I say.

Matt stops, blushing, and says,

"Yeah?"

"I've already had the talk with mom."

"........"

"Well, I think I'm gonna go get some ramen. Bye!"

"Wait! You are not going anywhere alone. Not after what happened!" Matt growls.

".........what happened?"

Matt stares at me, and I stare back.

I walk backwards, never breaking eye contact.

At the last second, I yell,

"I KICKED HIM IN THE CLAYTON!!!" and run away. (Inside joke guys. If you want to know, just ask.)

When I get to Ichiraku, Naruto is there gulping down bowls of ramen.

Neji is sitting beside him.

When they turn to look at me, I note the scratches and the black eye that Neji has, and giggle nervously.

"Umm.. I'm really sorry about what happened. It was an accident."

Neji continues to glare at me.

"I mean, it's not like you actually tried to rape me." Naruto chokes on his ramen, and points at Neji accusingly.

"You tried to rape Kiko-chan?!" Everyone walking by hears, and Sakura walks in, cracking her knuckles and glaring at Neji.

I think about interfering, but decide against it. Instead, I pull up a stool, a bowl of ramen-which I get free-and sit down to watch the show.

Tenten enters and sees Sakura beating the crap out of Neji, and jumps in shouting,

"No Sakura!! He's going to need that! And those!!"

After deciding that I've had my fun, I leave and head towards Hokage mountain.

I sit on top of the heads, and get a brilliant idea.

I pull green, purple, yellow, and red paint from out of nowhere, and begin to paint the faces to look like clowns.

When I finish, I sit back and admire my work.

I suddenly hear someone in the bushes. Yelling in surprise, I fall backwards off of the mountain.

"Holy shoe!!!!"

I continue screaming, until I notice someone clear their throat, and the fact that I'm not falling anymore.

When I open my eyes, I see Hidan holding me with an eyebrow raised.

I grin.

"Thanks!" He rolls his eyes and sets me down.

"What the fuck ever. Where the hell is your boyfriend?"

"Ohh! Ohhhh!" I bounce around, waving my hand in the air manically.

"Um, what?" Hidan asks, looking freaked out.

"I dunno!" I chirp happily.

Hidan stares at me.

".........do I have a booger?" I ask. Hidan backs away slowly, until he runs into Yenaa.

"Watch out stupid fuc-" he stops when he turns and sees Yenaa standing there.

"Hey sexy!" Yenaa chirps. "I've come to collect my friend. Excuse me!" She pushes past Hidan, who is checking her out, and grabs my arm.

"You know that Neji is in the hospital, right?"

Le Gasp!

"Holy mother of pearl!"

(I do not own Spongebob. 'Tis a sad, sad thing.)

She drags me to the hospital, where the nurses say I cannot enter the room.

Because Neji apparently hates me.

What did I do?

…...........oh, right.

"TIME FOR RANDOM POEM RECITING!! My limerick from English class!

There once was a little white dog

That started to act like a frog

He jumped in a river

and started to shiver

That silly old little white dog!

YES!"

Yenaa stares at me weirdly, before shaking her head.

"I knew I should have brought your medication," she mumbles.

"HEY! I don't have any medication! You do." I grumble.

She nods.

"True. True. OHH!! Look! A flying mountain goat carrying a purple flaming sword in the shape of a doughnut!!"

She then passes out.

Hidan stares at her, then grins.

"I like her. I'll be back."

"Yes, terminator sir." Hidan disappears.

WELL, that was one exciting day. Join us next time, for another chapter of- OH LOOK!! ITS A FLYING FLAMING LLAMA!!!

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_There you guys have it!!! I'm glad you guys tuned in. I like this chapter a lot more than the other ones. HAVE FUN!!!!!_

_Live, Laugh, Run around screaming._

_HAnnaH~  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_HIIIYYYAAH!! This is short and completely random. I hope you like :) _

_**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.**_

_**A/N When you see this *, that means scroll to the bottom to see where I got it. :P THANKS!  
**_

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**_

"OHH Hiedy didey didey didey didey didey die!!"* I sing, running around pointlessly.

"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down in the deep blue sea!!"** Ema sings, strumming an imaginary ukulele.

"Elijah rock! SHOUT! SHOUT!!"*** Yenaa screams, headbanging.

We make quite a sight. We are standing in the middle of the street, singing as loud as we possibly can. I see Neji start walking down the street, then he sees me, and he walks another way.

Yeah, he's been avoiding me since the whole rape incident.

Oh well!!

I run down the street, and somehow fall into a puddle. Apparently, it was deeper than I thought.

I hear laughter, and look up to see Matt pointing and laughing at me.

"MATT, BEHIND YOU!!" I scream.

"THERE IS SOMEONE BEHIND YOU TRYING TO STEAL YOUR FOOD!"**** He spins around, slips in the mud, and falls. Ino, who was with him, giggles.

I pull myself out of the puddle, mud dripping off of my body.

"Houston, we have a problem."

"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."*****

"Two plus two definitely equals eight."

Ema, Yenaa, and I are spouting off random things. Some are smart, actually scratch that. It's all stupid.

"Luke, I am your cousin's mother's aunt's grandchild twice removed and reintegrated into your family." See?

We stop and stare at Ema, who is scuffing the ground with her foot.

"Whateva!" I yell, and do a triple back handspring of awesomeness!!

"I didn't know I could do that." I say, grinning.

Yenaa does a flying peacock roundhouse kick of doom, and lands on her butt.

"YOSH!" She yells, punching the air.

Matt quietly walks away, and isn't seen for the rest of the day.

Sakura goes to walk past us, but we grab her arms, and Yenaa latches on to her leg.

"SAKURA!!"

"What?" she asks, exasperatedly.

"Did you know that my favorite couple in Konoha is you and Kiba!" I gush. She blushes.

Actually, it's Sakura and Kakashi, or Sakura and Itachi. But Itachi and Kakashi are both taken. So, yeah.

"Ohh!! You should ask him out!" Yenaa grins.

Ema laughs.

"I bet when you kiss, it'll taste like dog breath!" We stop laughing and we all gag.

"Ew!"

There is much giggling and we run off to bother someone else.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

(*) Hoedown off of 'Whose Line Is It Anyways?' I do not own this.

(**) Friendship song off of Spongebob. I do not own this, either.

(***) 'Elijah Rock' Choir song. Nope, don't own.

(****) I actually said this to one of my brothers once when I was asleep. :P

(*****) Famous quote by Malcolm X. Yuppers. No own.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys!! I realize it has been awhile, and I apologize. You have to thank Hypermanic for this chapter because she left a review and it made me think, and when I think, chapters happen. So thanks a ton!!! And she requested Rachel, who will appear in this and maybe the next few chapters, so Rachel is NOT my character. So you guys know, if you ever want a character put in here, just ask and I'll more thank likely do. Anyways, on to the randomness of awesome me! jk, jk_

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_

'Twas a beautiful morn. The sun was glistening on the dew droplets, which also glistened on the autumn leaves. Birds sang 'Good morning!' to each other happily and flew gracefully in spirals. The peaceful atmosphere served its purpose to calm the unusually irate Hyuuga sitting underneath a tree. He reached for his book-

"Dammit! Where the hell is my tour guide!" a definitely female voice screeched. A vein appeared on Neji's head, and he growled quietly.

"Can't a girl get some grub 'round here?! Hey! Watch where your going you no good, &$*#& piece of *#&#(!"

Neji took off to find another quiet place. Or someone to kill. Yeah.

- - - - - - - - -

I, hearing the last outburst, decide to check and see what is happening in Konoha.

What I find is a short brunette striding down the street, looking angry.

"Helloooo!" I call, dropping from my window. Itachi had went off to talk to Lady Tsunade. Something about making her realize we are hyper and not purposely disturbing the peace. Yeah, well.

Landing on my butt in front of the girl, I groan before getting up and grinning. The girl glares at me.

"Hi! I'm Kiko, what's your name?"

"Well, hello fucker I'm Rachel. Why are you so damn happy?"

The cursing doesn't bother me at all, and I stick my hand out for her to shake.

"Gotta hot boyfriend! Who wouldn't be happy?" She shakes my hand and crosses her arms.

"Know where we can get some grub?" I nod and skip off to Ichiraku, looking back now and then to see if she is following. Of course, no one would turn down the chance to eat so she trails behind me, all the while glaring at the people around her.

- - - - -

When we get to Ichiraku, Naruto is stuffing his face. Sometimes I think he should just move into that place. Or marry Ayame. Yeah, that'd work too.

"NARUTO!" I yell into his ear. He falls most gracefully onto the floor, and rubs his head.

"What?!" He screams.

"........hi!" I swipe my hand in front of his face, and take his seat.

"What the hell are you doing?! That's my ramen!" I gulp it down quickly, buy some for Rachel, and leave her in the capable hands of Naruto. Course, that will not be the last we see of her.

Oh no it won't.

- - - -

"YENAA! EMA! BARNEY!" I yell, rushing onto our apartment floor. Matt grumbles and walks down the stairs, sighing heavily.

I knock on Ema's door loudly.

"Goo awaiy! Der ees noh Bachrnee heer!" calls a voice from inside.

"Fiihn den, I weel joost haav too tell Yenaa buht de nuew guherl."

The door suddenly springs open and I am pulled inside, only to bounce against Kakashi and fall on my butt.

"Yoo reely hahv tu stahp dueiing thaht." Yenaa says, grinning.

"Dueiing wuht?" I ask.

"Fawlin- oh for Kami's sake, falling on your butt," Kakashi grumbles.

"It's not my fault my butt likes the floor!" I scream.

"WHO'S THE NEW GIRL!!!" Ema yells, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.

"AH!! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!" My head lolls back and forth. Yenaa, in a rare act of kindness, grabs my head and helps keep it still as Ema thrashes me about.

"Thanks," I mumble. Yenaa grins.

When Ema finally stops, she glares at me.

"FINE!" -insert giant breath- "ThenewgirlsnameisRachelandshecussesalotandItookhertoIchirakuwhereIfoundNarutoandatehisfoodwhichwasbeeframenwhichwasn'tthatgreatandsoIlefthimwithheranddoyouthinkIshouldgetahaircutoramIgorgeousenoughasitis?" (Translation: Purple pickles pile potted pot in Europe. Lol Actually, it's "The new girls name is Rachel and she cusses a lot and I took her to Ichiraku where I found Naruto and Ate his food which was beef ramen which wasn't that great and so I left him with her and do you think I should get a haircut or am I gorgeous enough as it is?")

I take a breath and grin.

Yenaa is giggling madly and Ema is moving her mouth like she is trying to figure out what I said.

"I think your gorgeous enough as you are," Itachi says, walking up out of FREAKIN' NOWHERE and kissing the top of my head.

"Why thank you, almighty hotness." I grin and peck his cheek.

Ema makes gagging sounds and grins when I glare at her.

"THE BLUE ELEPHANT ASKED ME TO TELL YOU THAT HE WANTS TO MEET RACHEL!" Yenaa screams.

She cocks her head to the side as if listening to someone.

"AND HE WANTS YOU TO KNOW YOU HAVE A BIG BUTT!"

I gasp and snap my fingers.

"Oh no you di'nt."

Ema grabs my arms and drags me to the balcony.

"Let us jump into the street, dearest friends. May your backsides always be cushiony."

Itachi grabs me and jumps gracefully down before Ema can drag me over the edge, like she is doing with Yenaa.

Heh,heh. Yeah. Well.

Obviously, they land in a pile with a resounding _smack _and groan. I laugh at them, pointing and dancing wildly.

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_WHO IS THE NEW GIRL?! WHAT WILL THE NEXT CHAPTER BRING?! WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPS LOCK?! FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF STRANGERS IN THE NARUTOVERSE~~_

_Kiko out!!!~_

_Btw, Hypermanic, I hope Rachel's personality was ok!! I'll use the next chapter to develop her personality more. :)_

_THANKS For READING Guys!  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_Here it is! Part 2 of "Meeting Rachel". Hope you enjoy this chapter all!!_

_**Disclaimer: Disclaimed. Why? Cause. Coz I said so. **  
_

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

All along the street, people stop and stare at us. Some are whispering behind their hands, while others that know us are pointedly ignoring us.

Why?

Because Ema is dragging me by the arm, I am dragging Yenaa by the hair, and Yenaa is dragging a slightly emo Sasuke -who is stuck in a hug of doom (patented to Yenaa, of course)- amd Itachi is walking behind us, chuckling.

Matt who joined our troop a little while ago. Sighs.

"Fuck it."

So, my dearest brother, who is giant and muscular and quite frankly is a genius, stars drooling, dragging his left foot, and going,

"Ha! Pickles.......Baaasebaawl!! ANTIQUE ROADSHOW RULES!" while flapping his arms around madly.

And Kakashi is walking with us, reading his porn.

Needless to say, the crowd parts like the red sea and we arrive at Ichiraku's faster than normal.

When we get there, there is a large group chanting,

"SLURP!! SLURP!!"

Money is being handed around, Tsunade declaring

"My money is on Naruto!",

and Rachel is screaming,

"You're so going down dickless!" Needless to say, Sai would be so proud of her.

They are sitting across from each other, glaring, slurping down ramen as fast as humanly possible. Or ninjaly. Yeah....

-Que crickets-

So.

Empty bowls are piled along the counter, and Ayame is moving back and forth, preparing ramen as fast as possible. She spies me and mouths, 'help!'. So in an attempt to help, I somehow end up splattering ramen all over everyone in the stand. Ayame doesn't let me help anymore.

After the exciting debacle, which was quite gross, Naruto is sitting on the ground groaning.

Rachel is casually slurping another bowl of ramen.

Yenaa jumps on the table -pulling Rachel up with her-, and sticks Rachel's arm in the air declaring,

"Ze Vinner ees Raychul!"

Tsunade groans, and after giving her money up, leaves while already chugging a bottle of sake.

"Fuck, that was some good shit." Rachel pats her belly contentedly.

Ema sprinkles holy water -coughtapwatercough- on Rachel and yells,

"I CASY YE OUT DEMON!!"

"What the bloody hell?" Rachel growls, throwing ramen at Ema.

"Ema doesn't like it when people curse," Yenaa grins.

Their actions result in a weird wrestling match, which Ema wins. Cause her and Kakashi practice, ya know? -wink wink, nudge nudge- (Ema: Kiko! That's gross! Kiko: Couldn't resist XD)

Yenaa sighs, still hugging Sasuke to her.

"Oi, emo boy!" Sasuke stopped struggling long ago and glares up at Yenaa, his head in between her- um- yeah.

"Why don't we go practice wrestling, ay?" Yenaa grins wickedly, and Sasuke pales.

"Oh hell no! Get this freak off of me!" He begins struggling again, arms flailing about in a very undignified manner.

His wish is answered when, with a puff of sparkles and gayness galore, Hidan appears in place of Sasuke.

"What the hell? I'm not fucking gay!"

Everyone stares at Hidan when he talks, because naturally, he is the only one who can hear the narrator.

"Fuck you."

"Bastard!" Rachel suddenly yells, and kicks Hidan in the special place of love and what could have been used for children.

"NUOOO!" Yenaa yells, grabbing Hidan.

"I'm fine," Hidan pants. "Just fucking dandy."

"I'll make it better! Come Hidan, let us go wrestle!" Yenaa shouts, and Hidan grins and takes off with her.

An awkward silence ensues.

Then-

"Holy hell! That is not a mental picture I needed!" Matt shouts, clawing at his eyes in a futile effort to forget.

I cringe into Itachi's shoulder, shuddering violently.

"Eww. Eww. Eww. Ew.. EWWW!!!"

Itachi tilts my face up and gives me a suggestive smirk.

"Want me to make you forget?"

I stop shuddering and grin.

"Please do."

"Aw, hell nah!" Matt shrieks. "You are not suggesting something like that to my minor sister!"

"Matt, what the heck?! I'm eighteen!"

"Since when?!"

"Since Tsunade figured out how to slow down and speed up a person's life by however long they want with her special juice!"

Silence.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahah!!" Ema holds her sides and drops to the floor.

"What?"

Rachel is laughing too, uncontrollably.

Sighing, Kakashi says,

"You do realize that 'special juice' was only sake right?"

"........well son of a gay belly dancer's tutu."

Itachi laughs and transports us to a quiet restaurant.

-Meanwhile, with Ema and them-

"Well, fuck. Now what?" Rachel groans.

"I'm damn bored."

Ema follows Rachel and casts more holy water on until Rachel throws her off of the red bridge, shouting,

"Damn you!"

Matt sighs.

"I'm getting a headache."

"Well that was a fucking waste of my damn glorious time," Rachel growls and storms off. Ne'er to be seen again. Unless I choose to bring her back of course.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

-In another world-

A sinister laugh is heard echoing harshly through the trees.

"Those girls cause havoc wherever they go. Perfect."

- - - - - - - v- - - - - -

-In another, 'nother world-

"I'm a green fucking dinosaur!"

- - - - - - - - - -

_So, hope you liked it. If you recognized that last line, its coz you've seen DBZ abridged series. Congrats! I do not own Naruto, as much as I pray and hope. 'Tis a sad, sad world. OH WELLS!_

_I do, however, own the crack that is injected into this story from the depths of my, quite honestly, scary mind. _

_REVIEW! If you don't I'll sick Ema and her tap water on you!_

_Ema: It's holy water!_

_Sure, sure._

_BYE!_


	7. Chapter 7

_So guys, this is more of a plot development thing. I know, I know. Plot is the sworn enemy of crack fics. But I decided this could be so much fun. So, here we are. Enjoy my dearies!_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really, my mom owns it all.**

_I'm trapped in a cave, surrounded by snarling Orcs. The stench is overwhelming..._

_I can sense their hunger, and one steps forward with his teeth barred. An overwhelming sense of helplessness overcomes me and I scream._

I awaken in Konoha, curled up in Itachi's arms as he holds me close and soothes me.

_Bad dream, it was a bad dream._

I'm trembling, and I swear I can still smell the disgusting stench of the Orcs. I pull myself as close to Itachi as I can, and hours later, I fall back asleep.

Suddenly I am jolted awake as another scream erupts from me. The nightmare had been on loop every night for the past week. Itachi looks at me with concern, and suggests I go home. The thought of my mom comforts me, and I agree to go home the next day, only if he comes with me.

We didn't get that far.

As I am packing the next day, an alarm sounds within the village. I stop, panicked, and Naruto bursts in the room, sweeps me off of my feet, and carries me out of the building. When his feet hit the dirt outside, the building collapses behind us. Naruto dodges falling debris and carries me to the path that leads to Konoha's hidden caves: the place where the villagers are evacuated when the village is under attack. Kakashi appears beside me, Ema and Yenaa in tow. Just as Kakashi is about to return to the village to fight, a fiery light appears and engulfs us.

I dream of falling through the sky, the ground rushing up at me. I hate these dreams. Wait, why do I smell trees and grass and water? This never happened in my dreams. I decide to open my dream eyes and take a look and suddenly realize, I'm falling from the sky.

"AHHHHH!" I flap my arms like a bird, hoping to suddenly fly. Yenaa is falling beside me, laughing and doing flips and stupid poses. Ema is latched on to Kakashi, who appears to be calculating the time to use some jutsu.

I'm still screaming. A river rushes up at us, and just when we're about to hit the water, Kakashi disappears in a swirl of leaves with Ema, and I see them appear on the riverbank, safe and dry.

"FUUU-"

I drop into the water.

Yenaa comes up laughing and gushing about her awesome dive that I missed, because I was busy praying for my life.

Ema is snuggling into Kakashi's side, and Kakashi is doing his eye smile thingy. And me?

I'm standing on the riverbank, dripping, and scowling at Kakashi.

"Aww come on Kiko! It ain't that bad," Yenaa grins, slapping my back as hard as she can, which sends me into the water again.

-cricket, cricket-

"FUUU-"

Ema throws tap water on me.

"It's holy water for cryin' out loud!"

Of course it is.

Out of freakin nowhere, about twenty people appear around us.

Whoa, wait a minute. Those aren't people! Those are..

"Elves!"

And I pass out in the water.

When I wake up, again, I'm in a gi-freakin'-normous bed, that's uber soft and smells awesome. I'm wearing a lavender gown, that's super soft, and I feel incredibly clean and cared for. Just as I'm about to fall asleep, I scream.

"Oh my gnome, somebody gave me a bath and changed my clothes! WHO SAW ME NAKED?" A gorgeous elfette (I know its not the proper word, but I'm using it anyways cause I want to) glides into the room and says, "It was I, my lady. You've nothing to fear."

Apparently, Elves aren't much for personal space.

The elfette is forgiven when she motions to someone outside the door, and an elfman brings a tray of fruit inside the room.

My tummy growls at the sight of the food, and I reach like a child towards the tray.

"Gimme gimme gimme!"

The Elves chuckle and set the tray up in front of me, telling me what fruit is what and whats sweet, sour, etc. The elfette sits beside me, close, and brushes my hair behind my ear. The elfman sits in a chair at the desk in the room, watching us with amusement, and what appears to be affection, in his eyes.

I feel like a child.

Annnd then I realize I am a child to them. I ponder this for a moment, then decide to heck with it. I take advantage of the situation.

For the next three days the two Elves spoil me. The woman, Seremela, tells me that she and her husband Aerandir (the food delivery guy) always loved children and wished for them. They loved taking care of me as if I was their own child.

I would have called Aerandir ada (means dad in Elvish), but then I'd feel obligated to call Seremela naneth (means mother), and that would have felt as if I was cheating on my own mom. So I stuck with their names.

I continued to have the nightmares about the Orcs. Every night, Seremela and Aerandir would sit with me until I fell asleep, and would be there when I awoke screaming, or sometimes crying. I loved having Aerandir, because I never had my own father in my life. Seremela was also wonderful, she contributed to the feeling of having a second family, a whole family. One where the father and mother loved each other and could speak without fighting.

Anywho, three days after I woke up in Rivendell for the first time, Lord Elrond called me into his office. Yenaa, Ema, and Kakashi were there as well. I smiled brightly at them and hugged all of them, then quickly gave my attention back to Lord Elrond.

"Your friends have explained your unique situation to me."

I nodded respectfully and waited for him to continue.

"It is within my understanding that you know the fate of Middle Earth."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly.

"In a way."

Lord Elrond stared at me, and I nervously continued.

"Well, I knew the fate before we arrived. Our arrival has already had an impact on Middle Earth. And we don't know who else may have arrived here as well, so we don't know what other circumstances have been altered. For example, if one of the rogue ninjas arrived and teamed up with Saruman and Sauron, that would give them a higher chance of winning since you are not equipped to deal with ninjas. Luckily, we have Kakashi, one of the best, on our side."

I trailed off into deep thought.

Lord Elrond seemed to be thinking as well, and cleared his throat to get our attention, which had wavered.

Amused he watched Yenaa, who was looking around at everything and picking at her tunic (she had refused to wear a dress), and Ema, who was drumming to a beat in her head.

"Pardon me, I had forgotten how short of attention spans humans have."

Yenaa waved her hand in the air and responded, "Nah its cool."

Lord Elrond raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. "What would you like us to do while we are here? How can we help in the fight for Middle Earth?"

Lord Elrond watched me for a moment, and then smiled softly.

"I would like for you to attend the secret council meeting tomorrow morn. I will send servants to wake you and help you prepare beforehand. You may leave now."

For a moment I stood there blinking, before Ema grabbed my hand and started to pull me out of the room. I quickly attempted something resembling a curtsy and left.

Well. This may end up a disaster.

_Development! Yay! So this ends Strangers in the Narutoverse and begins a whole new sequel.. :) Beware Middle Earth, the terrible trio has arrived...mwuahahahahahaha..._

_I can has reviews?_


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